Again the girl from work tried to make me feel bad about not being more social. I'm not. Sue me. Where is it written that I have to?
I am not that good with people. I know sometimes its good to be with them, other than the 40 hrs. at work. Like it does not take me a while to recover from that togetherness. Sometimes I am, and sometimes its good. But often its so exhausting and uncomfortable for me I won't make myself do more of it.
Its been a while since I have had a best friend. Its too hard to get another one. I don't have the will, or skills.
The perfect about of socializing for me would be dinner with someone nice and fun almost every Friday.
Breakfast out with someone maybe two Sundays a month. Attending a play with someone maybe 3 times a year. Attending a concert with someone maybe 3 times a year. A short trip with someone 2 or 3 times a year.
That would be great! I am getting a lot less than that now, and can't seem to get it right. The only people interested in that much interaction with me, are people that I can't take that much of. No one else interested, or else they want way more than that, so I don't do anything with them.
Its all a happy balance. This women has never really been alone. She has lived with someone 47 of her 48 years, and feels the need to socialize several times each week. Acts like there is something wrong with me that I don't want or need it.
For quite a while I have been doing a good job of not letting other people make me feel bad about myself, but she manages to do it frequently. What makes it harder to take is people seem to love her. I know she has way more friends than I ever will, so it feels like the problem must be me then.
I fit in so much better with my co-workers at my last job, but other things made me leave. I just don't fit personality wise with most of my co-workers. Yet that is were most of my time and energy is spent.
I was looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend home alone, before I possibly ventured back out into the world on Mon, or Tues. 4 day week end for me. Instead I end my work week feeling somehow deficient....again. Thanks.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Dentist
I have been going to the same dental practice for over 30 years. With what I paid the first two dentists retired, and I am now on the the 3rd owner of the practice.
I think he is pretty good. My time with the hygienist started with dentist #2, so we go way back too. She is 1 month younger than me. She is good too.
But that does not stop me from being practically sick before every visit, and getting hopefully phantom pains in my teeth when the appt. gets close.
I pay extra for the nitrous oxide. I can't do it with out it. Well, if its a basic, not super deep cleaning, I can do that, but that's the extent of it.
I brush and floss, eat decent, take vitamins, and have never smoked. Yet a few years back started getting some gum problems. I should not have them, as good as I am about oral hygiene. But I do. This was my second root planing/deep cleaning. They said I might have a genetic predisposition to problems.
My Mom had all her teeth out by 35. I don 't know how well she cared for her teeth. But she probably did not get enough calcium, and she SMOKED!.
I may have been born with weak teeth because of that. Thanks Mom. I was taught to brush, but not to floss. I think I had 10 cavities when I first started going to the dentist. Of course I ate a lot more candy back then. But friends got away with that ok. So I started out with a few strikes against me.
The dentist thinks a crown should be replaced soon...again, but that will be in 2012. For now I am done for 4 whole months.
Except for the brushing, flossing, tongue cleaning, little poky brush things, and mouthwash. My routine gets longer and longer. I get to bed/work later and later.
I don't want to loose my teeth. They are not perfect, but I want to keep them, so I go regularly trying to stave off worse damage/pain. Its been almost 5 hrs. since I got the Novocain, and still feel too numb to eat without wearing most of it.
At least the worst is over for a while. For me the worrying about it, and the shots are the worst part, and that tension, that it could conceivably hurt again at any minute. How do people do any of it with out gas? I don't understand that. They would be peeling me off the ceiling without it.
I think he is pretty good. My time with the hygienist started with dentist #2, so we go way back too. She is 1 month younger than me. She is good too.
But that does not stop me from being practically sick before every visit, and getting hopefully phantom pains in my teeth when the appt. gets close.
I pay extra for the nitrous oxide. I can't do it with out it. Well, if its a basic, not super deep cleaning, I can do that, but that's the extent of it.
I brush and floss, eat decent, take vitamins, and have never smoked. Yet a few years back started getting some gum problems. I should not have them, as good as I am about oral hygiene. But I do. This was my second root planing/deep cleaning. They said I might have a genetic predisposition to problems.
My Mom had all her teeth out by 35. I don 't know how well she cared for her teeth. But she probably did not get enough calcium, and she SMOKED!.
I may have been born with weak teeth because of that. Thanks Mom. I was taught to brush, but not to floss. I think I had 10 cavities when I first started going to the dentist. Of course I ate a lot more candy back then. But friends got away with that ok. So I started out with a few strikes against me.
The dentist thinks a crown should be replaced soon...again, but that will be in 2012. For now I am done for 4 whole months.
Except for the brushing, flossing, tongue cleaning, little poky brush things, and mouthwash. My routine gets longer and longer. I get to bed/work later and later.
I don't want to loose my teeth. They are not perfect, but I want to keep them, so I go regularly trying to stave off worse damage/pain. Its been almost 5 hrs. since I got the Novocain, and still feel too numb to eat without wearing most of it.
At least the worst is over for a while. For me the worrying about it, and the shots are the worst part, and that tension, that it could conceivably hurt again at any minute. How do people do any of it with out gas? I don't understand that. They would be peeling me off the ceiling without it.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Mice
I have house mice. I have not always had them. Usually I get a few in the winter, eventually get rid of them, then spend months cleaning up after them. It takes me forever to clean every surface, shelf, drawer, move the furniture to clean behind, move the appliances, etc. Don't even mention the garage, that is never totally rid of evidence. So sometimes I may have them a little while before I figure out that they are back.
I don't think I had them last winter. But then I got some this summer. That was worrisome. If it isn't even winter yet and they are here, what will happen when it gets cold? Well, I got rid of a few, thought they were gone. But they were just out gathering all their friends and relatives. Now there are lots of them.
I can't kill anything. I just want them to not be in my house. I use a live catcher and release them outside. I used to drive a mile and release them to the edge of a canyon. It got to be too much trouble, plus I am pretty sure the people living close to the release spot did not appreciate it.
My best catcher is no longer working as well. Don't know if the device itself is wearing out, or they have warped it trying to get out, or if I am catching the same ones over and over, and now they know how things work. Lately one that didn't work well for me before is catching a lot. Its a single catch, with fewer air holes than the others, but I am using it, and happy each time I catch another.
Unless its a baby. I hate catching the tiny babies. They are actually kind of cute, with their tiny noses and tiny hands. They just look at you or start washing their little faces. I don't know how old they have to be to survive outside alone. But when its nighttime, I worry that even if they are old enough for daytime temps, will they freeze at night? But I am afraid to wait until morning to release them, so I send them out, wish them good luck.
Last time I had them bad, they were going after the cat food. It was bad before I realized, then trying to tell the cat she had 2 minutes to eat it all before I put it away did not go over well. This time they have been eating bunny hay. The bunnies kind of need it to munch on all day.
Since I realized they were back I have been keeping a lot of things in big plastic bins. My lunch bag is in the dryer, my purse is in a bin. I am late for work more now, trying to get everything together at the last minute.
Could they just leave now that I am leaving less good stuff for them to get at? Oh, no. They are eating my scented candles, and potpourri now.
I kinda thought a new garage door might keep them out because it would fit much closer than the old wooden one. But coughing up the $600. or so it would cost would probably not totally solve the problem. It might well not be the only way they get in. Obviously I don't know all the ways they get in, or hopefully I could get them fixed. But I am starting to think there may be holes in the house under the siding. I guess I would see any that open right into a room, but if its under the bath tub or in the garage, I would not. Plus new siding, and all that should be done if I ever get that done....new windows, doors, upgrade the electric, plumbing, etc. Is way out of my range now. This is where having a handy partner would be wonderful. Free labor, do a little at a time as I can afford it. But the hire someone to do it all at once thing, I can't see that ever happening.
So I have mice. Its an embarrassing dirty secret. I feel gross, and disgusting. I am not much of a cook anyway, but I keep getting flack from people at work that I am not doing more cooking, bringing homemade stuff to pot lucks, or baking deserts, etc. They don't want anything from my kitchen, really. But I am not about to tell them the mouse part of why not. Just feeding my self is harder than usual. Wipe up the counter, wipe every thing I use off, and never turn my back for a second. Yeah right.
I think I am gaining on them, but not sure. Maybe they will keep coming right back in and bringing friends with them. I know they are cold and hungry, but now at least, there is a lot more good stuff to eat outside than there is inside. .
It will be almost 4 months before its warn enough they hopefully will prefer outside, if ever.
Go away mousies...Please!
I don't think I had them last winter. But then I got some this summer. That was worrisome. If it isn't even winter yet and they are here, what will happen when it gets cold? Well, I got rid of a few, thought they were gone. But they were just out gathering all their friends and relatives. Now there are lots of them.
I can't kill anything. I just want them to not be in my house. I use a live catcher and release them outside. I used to drive a mile and release them to the edge of a canyon. It got to be too much trouble, plus I am pretty sure the people living close to the release spot did not appreciate it.
My best catcher is no longer working as well. Don't know if the device itself is wearing out, or they have warped it trying to get out, or if I am catching the same ones over and over, and now they know how things work. Lately one that didn't work well for me before is catching a lot. Its a single catch, with fewer air holes than the others, but I am using it, and happy each time I catch another.
Unless its a baby. I hate catching the tiny babies. They are actually kind of cute, with their tiny noses and tiny hands. They just look at you or start washing their little faces. I don't know how old they have to be to survive outside alone. But when its nighttime, I worry that even if they are old enough for daytime temps, will they freeze at night? But I am afraid to wait until morning to release them, so I send them out, wish them good luck.
Last time I had them bad, they were going after the cat food. It was bad before I realized, then trying to tell the cat she had 2 minutes to eat it all before I put it away did not go over well. This time they have been eating bunny hay. The bunnies kind of need it to munch on all day.
Since I realized they were back I have been keeping a lot of things in big plastic bins. My lunch bag is in the dryer, my purse is in a bin. I am late for work more now, trying to get everything together at the last minute.
Could they just leave now that I am leaving less good stuff for them to get at? Oh, no. They are eating my scented candles, and potpourri now.
I kinda thought a new garage door might keep them out because it would fit much closer than the old wooden one. But coughing up the $600. or so it would cost would probably not totally solve the problem. It might well not be the only way they get in. Obviously I don't know all the ways they get in, or hopefully I could get them fixed. But I am starting to think there may be holes in the house under the siding. I guess I would see any that open right into a room, but if its under the bath tub or in the garage, I would not. Plus new siding, and all that should be done if I ever get that done....new windows, doors, upgrade the electric, plumbing, etc. Is way out of my range now. This is where having a handy partner would be wonderful. Free labor, do a little at a time as I can afford it. But the hire someone to do it all at once thing, I can't see that ever happening.
So I have mice. Its an embarrassing dirty secret. I feel gross, and disgusting. I am not much of a cook anyway, but I keep getting flack from people at work that I am not doing more cooking, bringing homemade stuff to pot lucks, or baking deserts, etc. They don't want anything from my kitchen, really. But I am not about to tell them the mouse part of why not. Just feeding my self is harder than usual. Wipe up the counter, wipe every thing I use off, and never turn my back for a second. Yeah right.
I think I am gaining on them, but not sure. Maybe they will keep coming right back in and bringing friends with them. I know they are cold and hungry, but now at least, there is a lot more good stuff to eat outside than there is inside. .
It will be almost 4 months before its warn enough they hopefully will prefer outside, if ever.
Go away mousies...Please!
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