I had a massage yesterday. I have gone regularly, but not real often for many years. I started when I was a grocery checker and had a perpetual knot in my shoulder from scanning all day.
First was some guy at a massage place. OK, but awkward.
Then Richard, at his house in La Costa. He had his pic in his ad and seemed OK. Saw him for years, then he moved away. He would often go deep, but I knew I needed some of that. He taught me to breath through the pain, and it would help loosen things up.
Next was Linda, just a few miles away, which was very nice. Plus she was a bunny person. That was a plus. Her dog, which did not like every one was always so excited to see me. I would only go about every 3 months, and parking was a ways away. Yet he always knew when I drove up. She was real good. I was sorry when she made a career change. I wondered if the dog missed me.
Then Marni. She was farther away, and OK. Not quite as good as Linda, but OK. By then I was not making near enough to live on, let alone any extras. I didn't want to totally stop going, so figured I would just go a lot less. She offered me a half price deal. I was grateful and reluctantly took the deal. Years later when I was making more, I upped it $5. and planned to gradually work my way up to full price, but things kept coming up, and I did not. Sometimes I would feel guilty, but then think maybe $35. today would be more useful to her than $60 in two more months, cause I would need to go less. Anyway, one day about a year ago I was 15 minutes late...for the first time. I was sorry, and she was annoyed. I knew it would have to be a shorter session. After I handed her my check, make an appt. for 2.5 months later, and left. The next day I get an e-mail saying she was sorry, she could no longer afford to give me a reduced rate, I might want to try a massage school. I felt like I had been fired. I asked if that did not work for me, if I could still come see her, and she said of course. But it felt so awkward, after I was "dismissed", that I have not. I feel bad it ended that way. I would have payed more if she had asked, I would have just gone less, but the way it was presented after all these years just did not feel right.
I went to a place in Oct. It was OK. She went very deep in my shoulder area. I let her, figured I needed it. So even though it was kinda hurting, I didn't ask her to lighten up. It was OK. Nothing wrong, but seemed like 3/4 of her time was my shoulder area, and I wanted equal time on the rest of me. I would have gone back eventually, but hadn't.
Well someone at work recently mentioned going for a massage. I asked who and where and she raved about Naya. She is fairly close, and runs different special deals. I tried her out. It was good. I have serious bone pain now, that I had no expectation of her helping, but thought she could un-pretzel some of my muscles that are compensating. Not exactly sure what she did different, but what a difference! I felt 2 inches taller. My pain went from my usual 8 down to a two after. Of course it is going back up today, and I can't see her every day, but even today its less than 8 and I am walking better than I have for a while. I know it won't last, but what a treat to feel a lot better for a while. I plan to see her at least one more time before my surgery, and soon after I am able to drive again. I hope she sticks around for a while.
I am happy to have found a good one in the area again.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
USA.gov: The U.S. Government's Official Web Portal
Good website to keep handy. Lots of important links in once place.
USA.gov: The U.S. Government's Official Web Portal
USA.gov: The U.S. Government's Official Web Portal
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Orb Weaver spider pic
Could not seem to add a good pic like this to the last post, so here. Great pic of one. Thanks.
triangle.com Share
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Spiders
I am one of those odd people that think spiders are beautiful. Do I enjoy having them crawl all over me? Not so much. But do I kill them on purpose? Absolutely not! Besides being beautiful, they are all Gods creatures and have a definite place in the world.
That being said I know I am probably in the minority, as I seem to be in so many things. Well recently I noticed a beautiful orb spider on my patio.
They make the most incredible webs. Anyway I was thinking I should move him before I had this guy (P) I sometimes hire to help me do work around the house came over next. But I completely forgot. The P came over, and we were getting a lot done. He said something about pet spiders. Then I remembered...! Did you kill my spider on the patio? To his credit, he did admit it and apologize. But the poor spider is still dead. I feel so bad about him. Some spiders die so easy. The daddy long legs in my showers...I save as many as I can from drowning, but sometimes they drown so quickly I can not save them in time. I feel bad, but what can I do? But will full killing of a big fat guy, that probably took a while to die getting mashed!! That horrifies me.
Yes there are poisonous spiders with bites that can really hurt you. But not all spiders are that dangerous, and even those will not chase you down to get you. Should you avoid the dangerous ones. Probably, but that does not mean you need to kill them. Unless maybe you have small stupid kids and pets that you can't be sure will avoid the spiders, and being small would be even more susceptible to problems with them. And the non dangerous ones should all get to live out their lives. If they are someplace you don't want them, just move them. Don't kill them, they are not hurting you. And may even be helping you by eating more dangerous insects...
Sorry little guy. Sorry it happened, and sorry I did not save you. RIP,
That being said I know I am probably in the minority, as I seem to be in so many things. Well recently I noticed a beautiful orb spider on my patio.
They make the most incredible webs. Anyway I was thinking I should move him before I had this guy (P) I sometimes hire to help me do work around the house came over next. But I completely forgot. The P came over, and we were getting a lot done. He said something about pet spiders. Then I remembered...! Did you kill my spider on the patio? To his credit, he did admit it and apologize. But the poor spider is still dead. I feel so bad about him. Some spiders die so easy. The daddy long legs in my showers...I save as many as I can from drowning, but sometimes they drown so quickly I can not save them in time. I feel bad, but what can I do? But will full killing of a big fat guy, that probably took a while to die getting mashed!! That horrifies me.
Yes there are poisonous spiders with bites that can really hurt you. But not all spiders are that dangerous, and even those will not chase you down to get you. Should you avoid the dangerous ones. Probably, but that does not mean you need to kill them. Unless maybe you have small stupid kids and pets that you can't be sure will avoid the spiders, and being small would be even more susceptible to problems with them. And the non dangerous ones should all get to live out their lives. If they are someplace you don't want them, just move them. Don't kill them, they are not hurting you. And may even be helping you by eating more dangerous insects...
Sorry little guy. Sorry it happened, and sorry I did not save you. RIP,
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Insurance Frustration
I have been lucky enough to have OK medical coverage through my employer for many years now. But...my share goes up and up, and it keeps changing and getting more and more complicated. That so many people actually fight Obama on trying to improve this system I can not understand at all. The fruit cakes!!!
I guess the company I was the happiest with, was Pacific Care, and Sharp Mission Park. It was the first time I felt like I had one place to go to handle most things, and I did not have a lot of out of pocket costs or paper work to deal with. I had a reasonable co-pay for some things, the rest all just got paid. Like magic.
Maybe 2 years ago, my company switched to Blue Cross, and around that time Sharp Mission Park, became Scripps Coastal. I was not thrilled, but did not want to change to Kaiser. People either love or hate Kaiser, there does not seem to be a big in between group. My wonderful Pacific Care Dr. had moved away, but many things about the group stayed the same, and I stayed. This last open enrollment, I considered switching. I was pretty sure I would have a lot more medical expenses this year, and spent quite a while looking on line, and making some calls. I couldn't figure out what the new co-pays would be, or what surgeons were still considered in my network. Decided to stay with what I had.
Now I am preparing for Major surgery. My hospital co-pay went from 0 to $200., and they prefer that I use Scripps hospital, rather than Tri-City that I used last time. Scripps is newer and nicer, but further from me and most anyone that would be giving me a ride. Plus the last surgery I had there resulted in nerve damage. Maybe just a coincidence, but why not go where things went well last time, and are closer? But if the co-pay is a lot more, I will go to Scripps.
The surgeons schedule person explained that things have changed a lot with my insurance, they no longer have to get referrals, and prior authorization from my PCP, now they go right to Blue Cross.
One of the complications is my insurance card now lists 2 co-pays for office visits, and two different ones for specialists. I had no idea which was which. The surgeons office charged me $25. co-pay. OK. Then I get a bill asking me for $15. more, saying my co-pay is $40. OK, that's a lot. Plus if they were wrong about that I better call them and check out some other stuff.
First ask for an explanation of my two co-pays. Apparently my co-pay will always be the higher one because of the medical practice. When I went on line to research and check before choosing, I should have noticed if the practice had a little ribbon icon next to it or now. A ribbon means I pay the lower co-pay, no ribbon means I pay the higher one! And I would know that how??? My co-pay is the same at either hospital, provided my medical group gets a referral to Tri-City before I go in. If they fail to do that I would be expected to pay everything!! The whole $56,000 or so cost.
So I call the surgeons schedule person back and say I have been told I need to get a referral to Tri-City from my med. group first or they will not pay, and I want a copy of that in my hand before I go there. Meanwhile, maybe I should also book something at Scripps in case they will not authorize it, so all the good dates and times are not gone.
She who had seemed quite nice before, practically yelled at me "I don't know how many times and ways I have to explain this to you, you don't need to get authorized by your med. group. Yours is not a true HMO, we go directly to Blue Cross for all authorization, once you have gotten the initial referral to us for treatment. I do this all the time, with lots of people with the same insurance and Med groups as you. If you want to go to Scripps, fine, but you can't book both places, and tie up a spot, and its too early to get any authorization from Blue Cross. She calmed down a little as we talked. Seemed to better understand why I was so concerned. When I said I would call Blue Cross back, she gave me some key phrases to use when talking, and said if they still did not get it, ask for a sup.
So I do that. Mind you I called Blue Cross Monday, so I call back. The answers are a little different, but way closer to Mondays Blue Cross, than to the surgeon office. In my mind, the insurance co. should know even better that the surgeon who has to try and keep track of multi plans. I ask for a sup. get an assistant sup. She finally agrees that yes, the surgeon can directly ask Blue cross for an authorization, and that should not be a problem, and they can ask for anything while I am in the hospital, but before or after everything has to go back to my PCP. (who did I mention I have only seen twice in my life, and am not that crazy about?).
I am totally visual. I prefer making all my phone calls from my private home desk, with a note book and anything I need to refer to in front of me. My med. group closes 11 minutes after I get home from work. The hold time is usually 10 minutes. I have yet to discover any after 5 or on weekend number besides the answering service. At least the surgeons office and Blue Cross I have been able to actually talk with after work.
I am already a wreck dealing with everything I need to do to prepare for this surgery and recover, esp. with having a few remaining animals, and living alone, with no family around, and way less friends than I had last time I went thorough all this. If I go with the current Tri-City date....its 3 months from tomorrow!!!!!.
By then I want my filthy house clean. My badly overgrown yard tidied up. I am used to doing everything or it does not get done. Lots of bad experiences trying to hire help. I work full time. I am still way behind from being too depressed about my ducks to do much of anything. Trying to force myself now in prep. for the surgery, but there is tons to do. I am slow, and in pain much of the time. I don't want anyone to see my house. I need a ride to the hospital and home. I would prefer it not be with a stranger. I need a ride back to the Dr's. at 2 weeks, and at 6, then I should be able to drive again. I need a ride to the first physical therapy season. I need someone to take care of my animals while I am in the hospital for 4 days, and to help me with them for 6 weeks. The bunnies are not that difficult, but cleaning my disgusting turtle tank...unless you have done it, you have no idea how gross it is. I don't see how I can do it before 6 weeks, yet not comfortable sitting on my butt watching, while an acquaintance does it for me. I have 2 cars and a 1 1/2 car drive way. I need someone to start my cars up a few times, maybe move them a little, so I am not ticketed for being in the same spot in front of my house too long, Someone to take the trash out the first two weeks. Actually groceries are the least of my worries. I can stock up on most things, and the rest that is something more people are OK about helping with. Getting your own meals with a walker is difficult, but I managed last time. Though they were usually cold by the time I got them to the table. The walker part should only be two weeks. The no bending part is 3 months. Doing this in summer so I can skip socks, but there is always something, like changing my sheets, or forgetting my clean PJ's are in the bottom drawer, etc. So this is why people stay in relationships...just for help getting through stuff like this. Its just the first 6 weeks. But I will be such a basket case before then.
I will need help putting the stupid white support hose on and off for two weeks. Help washing my hair a time or two. I will probably need the dressing changed a time or two. Someone here at least the first time I shower. Even if I hired a home health care person, I only need like an hour a day, and there is probably a minimum. I don't want to throw away money just to meet the minimum, and don't need a baby sitter. So far the only person who has volunteered to help at all besides working full time, is super busy being super woman, and I am already kinda uncomfortable with. Appreciate the offer, but personal care too? Damn this all stinks. I had a lot of people say they would help last time, yet I still felt I was pretty much on my own, and hoped for more support next time. Instead I have way less. How did this happen? Lots of people way more "difficult" than I am have all kinds of support. Why not me? How did things get this way? People keep asking me if I have someone to help me. When I admit to my utter embarrassment that I do not, they don't know what to say. Its not like they want to volunteer. Then quit asking. I am a rock, I am an island, but feeling rather mossy lately. Or maybe just cracked. At least moss is having a relationship with the rock.
I guess the company I was the happiest with, was Pacific Care, and Sharp Mission Park. It was the first time I felt like I had one place to go to handle most things, and I did not have a lot of out of pocket costs or paper work to deal with. I had a reasonable co-pay for some things, the rest all just got paid. Like magic.
Maybe 2 years ago, my company switched to Blue Cross, and around that time Sharp Mission Park, became Scripps Coastal. I was not thrilled, but did not want to change to Kaiser. People either love or hate Kaiser, there does not seem to be a big in between group. My wonderful Pacific Care Dr. had moved away, but many things about the group stayed the same, and I stayed. This last open enrollment, I considered switching. I was pretty sure I would have a lot more medical expenses this year, and spent quite a while looking on line, and making some calls. I couldn't figure out what the new co-pays would be, or what surgeons were still considered in my network. Decided to stay with what I had.
Now I am preparing for Major surgery. My hospital co-pay went from 0 to $200., and they prefer that I use Scripps hospital, rather than Tri-City that I used last time. Scripps is newer and nicer, but further from me and most anyone that would be giving me a ride. Plus the last surgery I had there resulted in nerve damage. Maybe just a coincidence, but why not go where things went well last time, and are closer? But if the co-pay is a lot more, I will go to Scripps.
The surgeons schedule person explained that things have changed a lot with my insurance, they no longer have to get referrals, and prior authorization from my PCP, now they go right to Blue Cross.
One of the complications is my insurance card now lists 2 co-pays for office visits, and two different ones for specialists. I had no idea which was which. The surgeons office charged me $25. co-pay. OK. Then I get a bill asking me for $15. more, saying my co-pay is $40. OK, that's a lot. Plus if they were wrong about that I better call them and check out some other stuff.
First ask for an explanation of my two co-pays. Apparently my co-pay will always be the higher one because of the medical practice. When I went on line to research and check before choosing, I should have noticed if the practice had a little ribbon icon next to it or now. A ribbon means I pay the lower co-pay, no ribbon means I pay the higher one! And I would know that how??? My co-pay is the same at either hospital, provided my medical group gets a referral to Tri-City before I go in. If they fail to do that I would be expected to pay everything!! The whole $56,000 or so cost.
So I call the surgeons schedule person back and say I have been told I need to get a referral to Tri-City from my med. group first or they will not pay, and I want a copy of that in my hand before I go there. Meanwhile, maybe I should also book something at Scripps in case they will not authorize it, so all the good dates and times are not gone.
She who had seemed quite nice before, practically yelled at me "I don't know how many times and ways I have to explain this to you, you don't need to get authorized by your med. group. Yours is not a true HMO, we go directly to Blue Cross for all authorization, once you have gotten the initial referral to us for treatment. I do this all the time, with lots of people with the same insurance and Med groups as you. If you want to go to Scripps, fine, but you can't book both places, and tie up a spot, and its too early to get any authorization from Blue Cross. She calmed down a little as we talked. Seemed to better understand why I was so concerned. When I said I would call Blue Cross back, she gave me some key phrases to use when talking, and said if they still did not get it, ask for a sup.
So I do that. Mind you I called Blue Cross Monday, so I call back. The answers are a little different, but way closer to Mondays Blue Cross, than to the surgeon office. In my mind, the insurance co. should know even better that the surgeon who has to try and keep track of multi plans. I ask for a sup. get an assistant sup. She finally agrees that yes, the surgeon can directly ask Blue cross for an authorization, and that should not be a problem, and they can ask for anything while I am in the hospital, but before or after everything has to go back to my PCP. (who did I mention I have only seen twice in my life, and am not that crazy about?).
I am totally visual. I prefer making all my phone calls from my private home desk, with a note book and anything I need to refer to in front of me. My med. group closes 11 minutes after I get home from work. The hold time is usually 10 minutes. I have yet to discover any after 5 or on weekend number besides the answering service. At least the surgeons office and Blue Cross I have been able to actually talk with after work.
I am already a wreck dealing with everything I need to do to prepare for this surgery and recover, esp. with having a few remaining animals, and living alone, with no family around, and way less friends than I had last time I went thorough all this. If I go with the current Tri-City date....its 3 months from tomorrow!!!!!.
By then I want my filthy house clean. My badly overgrown yard tidied up. I am used to doing everything or it does not get done. Lots of bad experiences trying to hire help. I work full time. I am still way behind from being too depressed about my ducks to do much of anything. Trying to force myself now in prep. for the surgery, but there is tons to do. I am slow, and in pain much of the time. I don't want anyone to see my house. I need a ride to the hospital and home. I would prefer it not be with a stranger. I need a ride back to the Dr's. at 2 weeks, and at 6, then I should be able to drive again. I need a ride to the first physical therapy season. I need someone to take care of my animals while I am in the hospital for 4 days, and to help me with them for 6 weeks. The bunnies are not that difficult, but cleaning my disgusting turtle tank...unless you have done it, you have no idea how gross it is. I don't see how I can do it before 6 weeks, yet not comfortable sitting on my butt watching, while an acquaintance does it for me. I have 2 cars and a 1 1/2 car drive way. I need someone to start my cars up a few times, maybe move them a little, so I am not ticketed for being in the same spot in front of my house too long, Someone to take the trash out the first two weeks. Actually groceries are the least of my worries. I can stock up on most things, and the rest that is something more people are OK about helping with. Getting your own meals with a walker is difficult, but I managed last time. Though they were usually cold by the time I got them to the table. The walker part should only be two weeks. The no bending part is 3 months. Doing this in summer so I can skip socks, but there is always something, like changing my sheets, or forgetting my clean PJ's are in the bottom drawer, etc. So this is why people stay in relationships...just for help getting through stuff like this. Its just the first 6 weeks. But I will be such a basket case before then.
I will need help putting the stupid white support hose on and off for two weeks. Help washing my hair a time or two. I will probably need the dressing changed a time or two. Someone here at least the first time I shower. Even if I hired a home health care person, I only need like an hour a day, and there is probably a minimum. I don't want to throw away money just to meet the minimum, and don't need a baby sitter. So far the only person who has volunteered to help at all besides working full time, is super busy being super woman, and I am already kinda uncomfortable with. Appreciate the offer, but personal care too? Damn this all stinks. I had a lot of people say they would help last time, yet I still felt I was pretty much on my own, and hoped for more support next time. Instead I have way less. How did this happen? Lots of people way more "difficult" than I am have all kinds of support. Why not me? How did things get this way? People keep asking me if I have someone to help me. When I admit to my utter embarrassment that I do not, they don't know what to say. Its not like they want to volunteer. Then quit asking. I am a rock, I am an island, but feeling rather mossy lately. Or maybe just cracked. At least moss is having a relationship with the rock.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Jury Duty
I had Jury Duty this month. It had been several years since I last served on a Jury. The court house is about 13 miles from my house. I normally don't really mind it. Often its just one day, than you are done. One of the hardest things is finding parking. It is amazing how bad it can be. Now that almost every step I take hurts badly, I circled a lot trying to find something fairly close. Sometimes I was successful, sometimes not.
Last week I got a temporary handi-cap card. My first ever. It did not even occur to me when the last hip got bad, until the week before I had it replaced. This time a co-worker hearing me complain about having to park about 3 blocks from work now, has been urging me to get one. I resisted. I am not handi-capped. It just temporally hurts like hell to do so. It won't always be that way. But I thought, well maybe just for work until I have surgery. I did use it at the court house once. The other times I was desperate enough, the close handi-capped were full also.
I like that after the first day, it starts a little later than my work does. I like having a good excuse to sit and read while I am waiting. I like that its something different from work. I like the nice long lunches. The 3 criminal cases I had been on before were pretty interesting. When I heard this one would be a civil case lasting about 6 days I was not so interested. Turns out it was much shorter, and more interesting than I thought.
But I feel bad about the way it ended, and kinda bad about myself, and bad for the plaintiff. Unlike the unanimous verdict we had to reach on the other 3, civil only needs 9 people to agree. The plaintiff had made some big mistakes, so I did not think she should get much money. However, I felt the defendant had made some mistakes also, so she (plaintiff LK) should have gotten a little. Another juror felt like me. But after 3 days of trial, the rest of the jurors made up their mind in less than 5 minutes (if not sooner), and did not want to really listen to me and the other dissenter. It was pretty much, OK, we disagree, but we have 10 people of one opinion, yours does not make any difference. We are done. So we were out really early. We were to be prepared in case either side wanted to poll the jurors, and I was kind of hoping LK would, so she could see I was not in agreement, but she did not choose to. I could not even look at her, I felt so bad. This was not such a bad thing it will ruin her life or anything, but the rushed, arrogant oral surgeon should have had to pay a little bit to remind him, patients can make mistakes. Its up to you to take 5 minutes to make certain they are really saying what they want, not confused cause they are so nervous about the surgery or what ever. I can't help thinking what if that had been me. So Lisa, I am sorry. and Dr. M. it would not kill you to take 5 minutes more of care and compassion to double check first.
I was back at work before lunch. That was less than great also. I was only gone 1 vacation day and 3 Jury days and they changed a lot about what I do already. They are even less organized than I was last week, and now they want me to do things that way. I am organized, and it bothers me to have to tell people all day long "I don't know where it is", when I used to know when I had my system. Now the system I am told to use for a lot of things, is to throw them in a pile and they are some body else's problem now. I hate it.
Guess I have not written since I visited the Otho surgeon. I was pretty sure he would say that yes, I do need a hip replacement. But now it is official. I said I was thinking of around June 1, is that too soon? His answer was "well, the hip joint is worn out, but if its just a minor inconvenience, then you can wait. If it is substantially impacting your life, you should probably do it". Minor inconvenience! Well at least a dozen times a day it feels like I am being jabbed with an ice pick. I am way worse than a year ago, and probably will be worse by June. I guess I will be doing it around June 1 give or take a couple weeks. YIIKES!!!.
Last week I got a temporary handi-cap card. My first ever. It did not even occur to me when the last hip got bad, until the week before I had it replaced. This time a co-worker hearing me complain about having to park about 3 blocks from work now, has been urging me to get one. I resisted. I am not handi-capped. It just temporally hurts like hell to do so. It won't always be that way. But I thought, well maybe just for work until I have surgery. I did use it at the court house once. The other times I was desperate enough, the close handi-capped were full also.
I like that after the first day, it starts a little later than my work does. I like having a good excuse to sit and read while I am waiting. I like that its something different from work. I like the nice long lunches. The 3 criminal cases I had been on before were pretty interesting. When I heard this one would be a civil case lasting about 6 days I was not so interested. Turns out it was much shorter, and more interesting than I thought.
But I feel bad about the way it ended, and kinda bad about myself, and bad for the plaintiff. Unlike the unanimous verdict we had to reach on the other 3, civil only needs 9 people to agree. The plaintiff had made some big mistakes, so I did not think she should get much money. However, I felt the defendant had made some mistakes also, so she (plaintiff LK) should have gotten a little. Another juror felt like me. But after 3 days of trial, the rest of the jurors made up their mind in less than 5 minutes (if not sooner), and did not want to really listen to me and the other dissenter. It was pretty much, OK, we disagree, but we have 10 people of one opinion, yours does not make any difference. We are done. So we were out really early. We were to be prepared in case either side wanted to poll the jurors, and I was kind of hoping LK would, so she could see I was not in agreement, but she did not choose to. I could not even look at her, I felt so bad. This was not such a bad thing it will ruin her life or anything, but the rushed, arrogant oral surgeon should have had to pay a little bit to remind him, patients can make mistakes. Its up to you to take 5 minutes to make certain they are really saying what they want, not confused cause they are so nervous about the surgery or what ever. I can't help thinking what if that had been me. So Lisa, I am sorry. and Dr. M. it would not kill you to take 5 minutes more of care and compassion to double check first.
I was back at work before lunch. That was less than great also. I was only gone 1 vacation day and 3 Jury days and they changed a lot about what I do already. They are even less organized than I was last week, and now they want me to do things that way. I am organized, and it bothers me to have to tell people all day long "I don't know where it is", when I used to know when I had my system. Now the system I am told to use for a lot of things, is to throw them in a pile and they are some body else's problem now. I hate it.
Guess I have not written since I visited the Otho surgeon. I was pretty sure he would say that yes, I do need a hip replacement. But now it is official. I said I was thinking of around June 1, is that too soon? His answer was "well, the hip joint is worn out, but if its just a minor inconvenience, then you can wait. If it is substantially impacting your life, you should probably do it". Minor inconvenience! Well at least a dozen times a day it feels like I am being jabbed with an ice pick. I am way worse than a year ago, and probably will be worse by June. I guess I will be doing it around June 1 give or take a couple weeks. YIIKES!!!.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Years Day 2011
Slept in...that was nice. But then not off to a good start. Big surprise. Going on line to check my e-mail and write a little turned into hours. I was going to reorganize my craft space, also looked on youtube for ideas on that. I didn't even get dressed until 4:00.
My ex called, twice. We had many, many years of hell, with him being a total asshole, but we get along pretty OK most of the time now. As long as we don't talk about anything too important, and I don't have any opinions different from his. Mostly he wants to talk and have me say "un huh, and oh really". I can barely get a word in, he has no interest in hearing it, and will get pissed if I disagree. Gee, if I could have mastered all that, we could have stayed married. I get bored just listening. Esp. cause he says the same stuff over and over. Why does he call? We just got into it, and I finally hung up. I should have hung up way sooner. I am just too nice to say don't call any more. He has been with wife number 2 way longer, like 5 times longer than with me. So why call me? Obviously he is the one that knows how to be married and raise 3 kids, not me, so just leave me out of his life. I don't need him or all his shit. If he has something to say, he can e-mail it. I am not the relationship type. We have been divorced over 30 years. We seldom fight any more, yet the minute he got riled up about my differing opinion he goes right for the jugular. Why? My opinion does not affect him at all, what difference if its different that his? I don't get what is to get so upset about. Just leave me alone.
Back to organizing. I did see some good ideas. I have organized many times, but it just gets harder and harder. The more crafts I get interested in the harder it is too pull them all together. My current favorite...has been for a while is collage. How the heck to organize that? I have tried filing pieces, but so many are multi category or tiny scraps, that show up almost every day. I can't keep up, or find what I need. Looking for certain words and phrases today. Eventually found some that worked OK, but it took a while. Drives me nuts! I am a pack rat any way, but collage makes it worse, cause I need all those little bits and pieces to make interesting pieces, but how to keep them organized too find when I need it?
Finally lit the pilot light on my heater yesterday. Its been about 34 at night, and sadly my house is not nearly as well insulated as it should be. The heater is set at the lowest possible setting, but I still heard it kick on a couple times last night. So far not tonight, but I have been numb for a while, so hopefully soon.
Now its almost 8p.m. and I am hungry. So much for me making something healthy. I need something NOW!
Happy New Year to me.
My ex called, twice. We had many, many years of hell, with him being a total asshole, but we get along pretty OK most of the time now. As long as we don't talk about anything too important, and I don't have any opinions different from his. Mostly he wants to talk and have me say "un huh, and oh really". I can barely get a word in, he has no interest in hearing it, and will get pissed if I disagree. Gee, if I could have mastered all that, we could have stayed married. I get bored just listening. Esp. cause he says the same stuff over and over. Why does he call? We just got into it, and I finally hung up. I should have hung up way sooner. I am just too nice to say don't call any more. He has been with wife number 2 way longer, like 5 times longer than with me. So why call me? Obviously he is the one that knows how to be married and raise 3 kids, not me, so just leave me out of his life. I don't need him or all his shit. If he has something to say, he can e-mail it. I am not the relationship type. We have been divorced over 30 years. We seldom fight any more, yet the minute he got riled up about my differing opinion he goes right for the jugular. Why? My opinion does not affect him at all, what difference if its different that his? I don't get what is to get so upset about. Just leave me alone.
Back to organizing. I did see some good ideas. I have organized many times, but it just gets harder and harder. The more crafts I get interested in the harder it is too pull them all together. My current favorite...has been for a while is collage. How the heck to organize that? I have tried filing pieces, but so many are multi category or tiny scraps, that show up almost every day. I can't keep up, or find what I need. Looking for certain words and phrases today. Eventually found some that worked OK, but it took a while. Drives me nuts! I am a pack rat any way, but collage makes it worse, cause I need all those little bits and pieces to make interesting pieces, but how to keep them organized too find when I need it?
Finally lit the pilot light on my heater yesterday. Its been about 34 at night, and sadly my house is not nearly as well insulated as it should be. The heater is set at the lowest possible setting, but I still heard it kick on a couple times last night. So far not tonight, but I have been numb for a while, so hopefully soon.
Now its almost 8p.m. and I am hungry. So much for me making something healthy. I need something NOW!
Happy New Year to me.
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